As a woman in business a little testosterone can go a long way. Seriously.
Do you take negative comments by friends, colleagues or clients personally?
Do you feel overwhelmed by your work load?
Ha, me, too. Then I started to notice that my male colleagues weren’t often feeling the same and how they responded. Here are four things they did instead that I started to do for my own confidence and productivity. You can, too!
1. Let Negative Words Bounce Off
Men have a wonderful ability to not allow negative sticky notes to well…stick to them.
“John, that report is missing a key conclusion.” or “What do you mean you can’t get it done by Friday, Frank? Don’t you know how important this account is?”
These kind of words seem to roll off their back. I say seem because I’m sure they have some impact but men don’t show it. They don’t absorb these words into their very being. Instead they decide if the words have merit. If they do, it’s a problem to solve, not a huge character flaw that requires counseling.
2. Say No Without Guilt
Men don’t seem nearly as concerned about making others happy as they are about taking care of their needs. Sound selfish? It doesn’t have to be.
Consider that if they were so concerned about everyone else’s needs they couldn’t provide — financially, emotionally or otherwise — to those they care most about. They would disperse their efforts to the point that they’d be ineffective. The only way to keep focused is to freely say no to anyone or anything that’s not enabling you to achieve what’s most important.
3. Act As If You Know What You’re Doing, Even If You’re Not Quite Sure
I have to admit, I was alarmed and disturbed when I first noticed this behavior. “They are lying through their teeth!” I thought. Then I took a second look.
These men were delivering on what they said they would. And they acted so confident that I assumed they knew this stuff like the back of their hand. A male friend revealed to me that he didn’t always know how he was going to accomplish a project. He just believed he’d figure it out. I finally realized it was a matter of believing in yourself and being resourceful. Lying had nothing to do with it.
4. Feel Free To Talk About Yourself and Believe How Wonderful You Are
Think of a couple on their first date. He wants to impress so he tells her all the wonderful things about himself – which he actually believes to be true – so she’ll admire him. Sometimes he’s successful, sometimes not, but one thing I do admire is that he’s willing to proudly show his colorful feathers. That’s risky. He might get rejected. But he knows he’ll never get recognized if he doesn’t try.
And if she’s not interested, he still gets to believe all the wonderful things about him are true. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?
5. Don’t Read Much Past What’s There
Most women think men are a bit dull and simplistic not to notice all the hidden messages in Sue’s tone or David’s words. And compared to the typical female radar, they are! But, this also allows men to not get caught up in all the energy draining sludge of what-ifs and hurt feelings.
As women we can’t completely go against our natural wiring, but we can stop it from working against us. Differentiate between the facts of a situation and what else you intuitively picked up on that may also be true. Don’t jump to conclusions about these ambiguous data points. Just keep them on the list of possibilities. Above all else, mentally move on.